1.

They say I suffer from major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder. They say the car accident in 2006 re-ignited the symptoms I’d beaten back in my 20s. They say the shock of the accident forced out repressed memories: a sadistic father, psychological torture, attempted murders. They say the pills that their pens advertise will really help. But the pills are too expensive. Not to worry! They say these older, cheaper pills will probably work just as well.

2.

They say the car accident left me with chronic pain—muscle spasms like marbles from the base of my spine to my head, and migraine headaches: pain shooting from the back of my scalp into my palate, my gums and my teeth. They say deep tissue massage therapy could really help. BUT it’s very expensive, they say, with a polished compassion. But not to worry! They say I can take this pain medication that their pens advertise—the same drug that killed my friend Brian.

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