Song to the Therapist I Fired

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5 Replies

You’re terrible at what you do. You’ve wasted several months of my time. STOP CALLING ME. I’m done with you.

Here’s a musical reminder. I know how long it takes you to grasp even the simplest point: ENTIRE 50 minute sessions. I’m tired of teaching you about psychology and psychoanalysis every week. You ridiculous hack.

Click PLAY and PAY ATTENTION. Try really hard.

And, again, STOP CALLING ME.

I feel sorry for all those poor and unemployed people who are stuck with you and that disgraceful clinic.

I apologize to my regular readers for this outburst, but this guy is a real douchebag.

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  • http://future4fina.com Fina

    Aren’t you happy that you have this figured out now, instead of 5 sessions down the road? Venting is necessary. :)

  • http://charlesbivona.com Charles Bivona

    I would mention something from current politics–like, something I read on my iPhone in the waiting room, and he would debate me on the accuracy of my comment because he hadn’t “heard anything about that at all.” He would then roll his eyes at me, and look at me with a puzzled head tilt, as if I was imagining the extreme violence in North Africa.

    It got frustrating fast.

    Two session ago, I actually lectured on the history of the Vietnam War for 10 minutes, just so he could keep up with an intellectual conflict I’m struggling with: i.e. studying the atrocities of the Vietnam War, writing a book about it, and also being the son of a traumatized vet.

    I mean, It hasn’t been an issue at all so far. Quite the opposite. Understanding the war has given me a new perspective on my life, and I passed the comp exam on the war with flying colors, so I guess my daddy issues really were resolved in my 20s.

    Anyway, it’s still an intelligent concern I have, studying something so close to the bone, ya know? So I run it by my “therapist.” I ask him for his thoughts. His response: “Well, this left a mark on you. That’s for sure.”

    wtf