At least that was the general consensus at a recent social gathering. My female friends were all in agreement. The professor thing was interesting, being a poet certainly gave me a touch of the romantic, but the Buddhist thing, well the Buddhist thing was just hot.
I was baffled. This way of life, this philosophy, this practice that had engaged my everyday living for almost twenty years, this was sexy? Sitting still for hours and simply breathing, trying to undermine attachment and craving, letting go of my expectations moment to moment to moment, this was…hot? It seemed odd that a philosophy that had inspired so many to take vows of celibacy was now being equated with my sexiness. Some investigation was called for.
“It’s just the lure of the exotic!” My Buddhist friends screamed after hearing about my sexiness.
“Only someone who doesn’t know anything about the practice could possibly think that,” said a female Buddhist who has never managed to stoke a sexual fire with a single Buddhist male—myself included.
Yet, despite my spiritual colleagues valid objections, I think I have to agree with my more western-minded buddies, and not just because I like having another notch of sexy on my bedpost, no way. Buddhism, on further reflection, does make you sexy.
How so? By training you to appreciate the moment for what it is, it trains you to appreciate and accept your lover for who he or she truly is. The Hollywood expectations and media yardsticks that infiltrate our sheets, Buddhism could purge those, in time.
And those four other people—your mom and dad, your sweetheart’s mom and dad—that Sigmund Freud claimed symbolically turned your sex lives orgiastic, Buddhism could send them packing, too.
Push all the mantras and scriptures and confusing Asian symbols aside, and Buddha’s message is simple. Life is happening here. Life is happening now. Wake up from your dreams of the past and the future. Stay here. Be in the now.
Sexualize that message and you get something like this: “We are here. Our time is now. Stay with me here. Take me now!”
So find a comfortable place to sit, my sexually active friends, remember to keep your spine straight and follow your breathing, or you can focus on your favorite word, or phrase, or prayer. It doesn’t matter. It’s about focus. Focus matters.
Now relax. Let go of past grievances and future expectations, a little at a time, and when you develop a razor-sharp focus, the ability to commit completely to this very moment, unleash that on your lover.
Yeah, that’s hot.